Komorebi
by Lonestarmoon
Summary: "You would fight a God?" "Yes. Give me back my sister." A tribute to Silver Queen's Dreaming of Sunshine, written from Shikamaru's perspective.
1. Birthday Boy

Chapter 1: Birthday Boy

 **This is a tribute to the beautiful work of art that is Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen. I know I didn't, but I hope anyway, that I did it justice.**

* * *

His first reaction was, _'You forgot your own birthday?!'_

But then he remembered that it was Shikako. _Of course_ she forgot her own birthday.

He sighed. "I can't believe you forgot your own birthday."

"I _know_ when it is." she said, frowning.

Their mother laughed, her eyes twinkling. "I wondered why you didn't say anything."

His sister gave an exaggerated huff and then pointedly concentrated on her food. It was grilled pork. _Kurobuta_ , to be precise. A luxury even for the family of the Jounin leader. Unlike commercial pork, which lended itself favorably to a variety of sauces, _kurobuta_ had its own intrinsic and distinctive sweetness that came from the high levels of intramuscular marbled fat. He shook his head. Spending too much time with Chouji had made him something of a meat connoisseur.

He glanced back at Shikako who was frowning, but didn't really look annoyed, so he ventured, "I guess I shouldn't expect a present, then."

Her answer was quick. "I got you one ages ago, don't you worry about that."

It pleased him more than he liked to admit, that Shikako forgot her own birthday but had somehow remembered to buy him a gift. Though how that worked out he didn't quite know.

"That's...well, uh," he grappled for words "Thank you."

"No problem."

"Yeah...thanks again."

"No," she said, "problem."

Their mother clicked her tongue as she cut up more meat for them. "Shame on you, Shika. You do know your sister would forget her own birthday before forgetting yours, right?"

"Well, she _did_ forget—"

"And yet," his mother returned, her eyes locked in on him, "she got you a present."

* * *

Shikako flitted upstairs to her bedroom as soon as they got home, and when she came back downstairs, she was holding a box the size of a shoe box carefully in her hands, an excited look on her face.

"Kunai?" he guessed, shaking it a bit.

"Half right," she replied, a small smile on her lips. "Open it."

How _that_ one worked out, he didn't quite know as well. He studied it some more before giving up and then opening it.

Only to look up at her, exasperated. "They _are_ kunai."

"Half right," she repeated, flicking one out of the box and then rolling it over her fingers until the handle fell into the palm of her hands.

Then she did the unthinkable. She stabbed it to her thigh.

Shikamaru's heart stopped. His breath stopped. His world stopped. _No._ God, _no_. _Please don't let this happen on our birthday._ Futilely, he grabbed her arm. He clenched her wrist tight as if it would protect her from everything in the world. As if it would protect her from herself. _Shikako, Shikako, what are you doing?_

As if it would do anything. He was always too late.

His throat closed and she raised an eyebrow at him, slight surprise in her eyes. His eyes shot back to her leg. It was... unharmed. "Trick blade." she said by way of explanation.

He exhaled shakily. _His_ legs were shaky. "You didn't have to be so dramatic." he managed to say, pulling away his stiff fingers.

"I saw the chance; I took it." she replied dismissively "You'd have done the same."

 _No, I wouldn't have,_ he suddenly wanted to scream, _I_ wouldn't _have. Not if just a few weeks ago, you had to see me with the blood gushing out of my chest and a sword sticking out of it._

But it was their birthday, she got him a gift, their mother was in the kitchen and he was Nara Shikamaru, so he reigned whatever it was that was simply raging to get out of him. He cleared his throat, said his thanks and then threw a haphazardly wrapped box at her. He stayed long enough for her to give a guess at what his gift was, open it to see if she was right. Then he made the excuse that he needed a cup of tea.

She didn't say anything.


	2. You'll Never Know

Chapter 2: You'll Never Know

 **Thank you so much for the very wonderful reviews, and for all those who followed this story. It drove me to post the second chapter a mere ten or so hours later. Please stay tuned for the third chapter. I _think_ it will be the conclusion (or not). Again, all my heartfelt thanks. You guys made me so happy you can't possibly know.**

* * *

He felt the chakra, smelled the smoke, heard the footsteps, and then felt the shadow fall upon his face.

"We have team practice tomorrow."

"Hmm?" Shikamaru didn't even bother opening his eyes. "Troublesome."

"Not for team ten," Asuma-sensei chuckled. "For the Chuunin Exams team. We're having a practice session, see what we have to work with. Everyone taking the exams will be there."

A pause. "Everyone?"

"Yeah, everyone. Team seven, too. Or what remains of it."

A yawn. "Not interested."

"Of course you aren't." Asuma-sensei replied easily. "But we _are_ going to be at the usual training field. Just so you know."

"Useless information on me," he drawled, stretching his arms out "But all right. Not as if I'm gonna show up, anyway."

* * *

"I can't believe you showed up." Ino said, mouth gaping. "I mean, this doesn't even concern you. Shikamaru, what's wrong?"

Everyone _was_ there. Chouji, Hinata, Sasuke, Kiba and Shikako. Kurenai-sensei, too.

And of course, the ever relentless Ino who currently had her hands on her waist. "Well?" she said impatiently. He couldn't even afford to look her in the eyes, because Ino was Ino and she always knew.

"I _wasn't_ going to show up," he finally grumbled, hands in his pockets. "But Shino asked me to come. And nothing's wrong." he added.

"And what, you just went with him because he was so convincing?" she said skeptically, looking very much unconvinced.

Shikamaru gave Shino a slight, almost imperceptible nudge even to a ninja's eyes with his feet and Shino spoke up obligingly. "It is true that I asked Shikamaru to come with me. Why is that? Because I believe that it is important that we see the progress of our teammates."

It was a good thing, he reflected wryly, that monotone was Shino's usual.

"So you see, it _does_ concern my brother, Ino." Shikako said, looking very much amused.

Ino opened her mouth to speak, but Asuma-sensei—thankfully—beat her to it. "Come on now," he interrupted, patting her shoulders, "let's get going. Formation, teams."

He saw Sasuke smirk tauntingly at his sister as they started walking in the direction of the center field. "Well, come on, Shikako- _chan_. Better show us what you got."

"I'm going to try and make you regret saying that on principle, Sasuke- _kun_."

* * *

The match was...nothing like he expected. Ino and Chouji's moves he was familiar enough with, having spent the most time with them, but Hinata, Sasuke and Shikako—he didn't even know _when_ —improved so much that he worked his eyes double time to really see everything. Especially his sister. He'd never tell her, but he took the instinctive one step back when the pillar of rock suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

It reassured him a bit, though. This Shikako wasn't the old Shikako. Somewhere, sometime, she had grown into a fine and resourceful kunoichi that utilized seals like nobody's business and made the stoic Uchiha Sasuke blurt out swear words—Shikamaru would also say that he screamed like a girl, but then that would be an insult to Hinata and Ino who were a lot less vocal about dodging the humongous rock than he was—and jumped and threw kunai and made things explode. It reassured him only as much as it saddened him, though. Where was the Shikako he once knew like the back of his hand?

It was over as soon as it had begun, and with a suddenly heavy heart—heavier than usual—the three spectators made their way across the training field.

"We kept waiting for you to give us a plan of attack like Shikamaru would." Ino was saying "The three of us weren't coordinated."

"The plan was _attack_." his sister retorted.

"Yeah," Ino said dryly, "I get that."

"Same with us." Sasuke put in. "We weren't coordinated."

 _Shikako-_ chan _made you scream, you mean,_ he thought with no small amount of delight. Shikamaru was smart enough to figure on early enough that the reason his sister seemed to land in the hospital so much they should reserve a room in advance for her was her two teammates. It was completely their fault, he was convinced. However, blaming Naruto was too much hard work, so he decided to settle for Uchiha Sasuke, instead. Half the patrol shinobi already hated his guts anyway.

"Sounds like you know where you went wrong, then." Asuma-sensei said approvingly "That makes things easier."

"We'll work on it." Kurenai-sensei agreed, and Shikako's head turned.

The instant she saw him her face took on a defiant, almost smug expression, and he worked hard to keep his own neutral and make sure he didn't flinch because it...stung, that he would be on the receiving end of such a look from his sister, of all people. But she mustn't know that.

"Shikamaru," he dimly heard Asuma-sensei call, "Would you mind lending a hand over here? I'd like you to give us your own opinion about the pros and cons of..."

 _Oh yes, by the way, 'Kako, what do you know of that breath stealing fear of that one second of loss that I will now have to carry with me for the rest of my life thanks to you? If you have the capability to make boulders fall on people, then surely it wouldn't be that much to ask for you to have the capability to just understand, too?_

His feet moved him past his only sister.

* * *

 **So, I just wanted to share, guys, that I just watched the newest Naruto movie, starring his son at the cinema yesterday. Personally, I liked it a lot. It was everything I ever wanted, and the Sasuke there felt really close to current DOS Universe Sasuke. All that time away from the village really must have done him good. The kids were brilliant, too. I really liked Boruto and Sarada. And now I can't stop daydreaming about just how cool Shikako's kids (Correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember reading her mentioning something about a family someday during their babysitting mission. I just hope that fate is on her side and that she'll get that chance). I think she'll be the coolest mom as well.**

 **And on another note, the reason I chose this particular scene was because Shikamaru was very oddly silent during that training match. This is my spin on what was going on inside his head, and the reason why he really showed up.**


	3. Dreaming of Sunshine

Chapter 3: Dreaming of Sunshine

 **That this fiction was so well received brought me so much joy. Thank you once again for all the kind reviews. And especially to Silver Queen, without whom this wouldn't exist at all. Thank you so much for the DOS Universe.**

* * *

She was passed out on the couch.

For half a second, he contemplated leaving her there without even a blanket to ward off the cold, because if she was so busy with endless team practices or maybe cooking up another one or two of her _brilliant_ plans and experiments that could very well land her in T&I, then well, he was busy with being a Chuunin, too.

He sighed.

No, he wasn't that far gone yet.

He ended up carrying her to bed _and_ putting a blanket around her. He also closed the windows to keep the wind out and resisted the urge to go through her desk just so he could have an idea about what on earth she was currently up to, because again, he wasn't that far gone.

 _Yet_ , a voice that sounded annoyingly like Ino said in his head.

He wisely left her room before he could give in to temptation— _walk away, walk away, walk away_ —and almost ran into his mother on the hallway.

They stood motionlessly for a minute. Her with her eyes on him and him with his eyes on the floor. Always on the floor these days.

"You and your sister talked already?" his mother finally asked in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

He didn't even bother asking her what she was talking about, or how she knew. Their mother was better than the Yamanaka Clan when it came to picking out the brains of her husband and children. And she didn't even need a jutsu to do it.

Slowly, he shook his head. "Shikako, she..." he swallowed, fighting to get the words out, "She's angry with me."

Because there was the truth. There it was. Shikako _was_ angry at him. He knew. She didn't have to say it. It rankled her that he meddled with her life, that he decided what was good for her on his own, that he didn't trust her skills as a shinobi. _As if_ he could trust anything when it came to her safety. Well, she certainly thought he was being a pain, and it was tearing his guts out.

But at the same time there was also a part of him that couldn't care any less. The part that was furious right back at her.

Because she might have felt the sword pierce her chest and heard the promises and songs of being a supreme being, but what she didn't know was that if the sword had worked like any normal sword did and that she...if she _hadn't_ come back—then he was the one who would have had to pull the sword out, cradle her lifeless body in his arms, carry her back home to their inconsolable parents and then spend the rest of his inconsolable life mourning the irreplaceable hole in his heart the tiny size and skinny shape of her.

And it drove him crazy that for all that she was observant and smart and dabbled into plenty of things that he wasn't even sure was legal _and_ found the time to help everyone with their petty troubles besides, she couldn't spend even a minute to put herself in his shoes and think, because _you'd be dead, 'Kako, but what about me?_

On the other hand, he was exhausted, too. He was so exhausted. He wanted so many things for her, but after weeks and weeks of stilted conversations and unspoken words and strained silence, all he wanted right now was to have her back. Have her curl against him for comfort, so he could comfort himself with the knowledge that she was alive in return, and that this life that had her in it wasn't just like a shadow hopelessly dreaming of sunshine.

 ** _He was a tiny speck in the universe waging a war against the infinite and ageless stars, love for family the only thing justifying his madness._**

 ** _You would fight a God? he was once asked, and he replied with all that he had, Yes, give me back my sister._**

His mother's sigh brought him back to their hallway. She put an arm around his shoulder, holding him close. It wouldn't be long now, Shikamaru mused vaguely, before it would be quite a hard thing to do. He was almost as tall as her. But that didn't stop her hold from being comforting, though.

He leaned in almost unconsciously, tired as he was.

"All I want is for her to be safe." he said in a low voice. Low so it wouldn't shake. "All I want is for _us_ to be safe."

"That's all I want, too. Just hang in there." she whispered back "Your sister loves you a lot, and this is just the beginning of everything for the both of you. We'll all be all right, you'll see."

He took a shuddering breath. "You...you think so, Mom?"

"Of course, silly boy. I've been trying to tell you again and again, and still _you_ don't understand." she blinked, her eyes oddly bright "Who do you think she came back for?"

* * *

 **This is what I think is going on with Shikamaru. Ever since the Gelel mission, something hasn't quite been right with our twins (Or is it just my imagination?). And I couldn't help but be pained about it, as Shikamaru and Shikako's relationship is one of the main things that made me love the DOS Universe. I hope they talk things through soon. Then again, what I've been noticing really can be just a figment of my overactive imagination.**

 **Scarmagista said a very good point, and so I'm also posting my answer here.** Well, I don't think their mother knew every specific detail about the mission as well. Shikamaru doesn't think so, too, hence he was surprised except not really. However here's my attempt at an explanation as the writer: it _is_ common knowledge that Shikako almost died at the Hokage's office, that their mission was classified as S-rank (this I'm just assuming, but if Kakashi was told that much, then why wouldn't their own mother?) and that after that mission, something's not been quite right with Shikako and Shikamaru. I think their mother got the gist of what happened from that (she is a mother _and_ a ninja after all). As for the last line, well, it could mean lots of things but as what's been weighing on Shikamaru's mind was that particular moment, his mother's words tied in with that moment as well. Hope I didn't make a complete muck of this. Thank you for pointing this one out!

 **Fragile Wishes:** Thank you so much! You saying that I did right by it means a lot to me. I hope chapter two and three delivered as well.

 **Silver Queen:** Oh my God! Your review is everything! Thank you! And yes, you are right. Yoshino was really trying to say something, and this chapter is it. And Shikamaru being slightly mean to Sasuke actually came from that little moment in the Forest of Death, when they had a talk. I'm thinking he must hold quite a bit of a grudge, especially after witnessing our Sharingan boy punching the living daylights out of his sister. And then, of course, there are the deadly mission no one really knows where to pin the blame on.

 **SinistrousDelirious:** Yeah. That is exactly what made me want to write from Shika's point of view. Because all that's been happening them slowly drifting apart, really must hurt on his part. And there are those lovely little subtle comments made by him that from Shikako's point of view, aren't really given much light on. DOS characterization is just so brilliant.

 **donahermurphy:** Aw, thanks. And yes, he strikes me as that sort of person too. I'm really waiting for the Shikamaru and Shikako confrontation, because really, they have to bring everything out in the open sometime. The two of them actually reminds me of a volcano. It's got to erupt, one way or another. And Shikako not being able to really care for herself right now is spot on. Girl is suicidal. Hahaha. But then that's why we love her.

 **Alizes:** Oh, Sasuke and the patrol shinobi might just be my favorite Sidestory, so I put some of it on chapter two. And thank you! That's been my goal all along, to capture Shika's voice just right. And that the panic and concern and all the other things showed up...that means I did some of my job right.

 **Lady Hallen:** Crying profusely? You saying things like that make _me_ want to cry profusely. Thank you so much!


	4. Ghost Town

G ** _H_ O**S ** _T_ T**O ** _W_ N**

 **"Itachi, my father, my mother, my clan. BRING THEM ALL BACK TO ME! THEN I'LL STOP!"**

 **Uchiha Sasuke**

* * *

He had tried to block it out, had tried to pretend he was anywhere but there. Because it was private, something an outsider like him should definitely not be witnessing, and it was so awkward, and, and—

And he was jealous.

Jealous of his best friend fighting with her brother as their parents looked on helplessly.

He could almost hit himself.

There was mild mannered Shikako screaming her lungs out, throwing things and saying things so sharp it made him flinch on overbearing Shikamaru's behalf—the Shikamaru who always seemed to be looking at him like he was some bug he'd particularly like to smash on the sly—and Yoshino-san who was always so kind to him looked close to tearing someone hair's out—probably her children's—and Shikaku-san was just futilely trying to calm everyone down and all Sasuke could think of was _I'm jealous_.

He was so fucking priceless.

Mercifully for everyone, it was over quickly. Shikamaru walked out _and_ slammed the door. Shikako walked out _and_ kicked her chair aside.

There was a pause.

What now? Should he walk out _and_ punch the wall?

"Sasuke..." Shikaku-san finally said, "I am incredibly sorry. You shouldn't have to see that."

"No, uh," he cleared his throat. "It—it was all right. I mean, of course it wasn't all right, but I—I _don't_ mind at all. Not one bit. Of course not that they fought. I _did_ mind that. But no! I mean, but what I _mean_ is, Kakashi-sensei and I..." he trailed off desperately. Looked around. Checked right. Checked Left. No.

No silver hair visible.

He scowled.

Kakashi, that great big bloody, _bloody_ donkeyass bastard.

Left his own student alone to fend for himself! Now _he_ was fucking priceless.

Sasuke silently vowed to send him to the road of life the next time they saw each other.

Yoshino-san cracked the tiniest bit of a smile as she brought out the dustpan and broom. "Ah, yes, Kakashi is pretty good at that, isn't he?" She glanced at her husband. "Go check on Shikamaru, will you?"

He gave a wordless nod to Sasuke and his wife and then obediently went outside.

Sasuke, standing with his hands in his pockets and feeling more than a bit useless, said, "I—I'll just check on Shikako, then."

He ambled over to the living room, not sure what to do, how to deal with it. This wasn't the Shikako he knew. He never thought he'd ever even _think_ it, but God, he wished for Naruto. This was the one thing Sasuke would wholeheartedly admit that Naruto was better at than him.

"Shikako?" he said tentatively.

The living room was exceptionally dark after the light of the living room.

His vision adjusted.

And what he saw reminded him of that terrifying incident only a few days ago, except that she looked more alive back then.

He _panicked._

Instantly, his fingers flew to her neck, checking for her pulse.

What was this? Some after effect of whatever the Hidden Grass had used to drug her with? But surely Tsunade-sama would have caught something like that? And besides, why now? Did her fight with her brother provoked it, somehow? Shikako _had_ been lying low until tonight. _What was this?_ And why the hell wasn't she breathing? Why was she not responding? Why was she not doing anything?

"Yoshino-san?!"

Shikako's mother was there in an instant, face weary. She touched her daughter's hair and gave a soft sigh. "She's just sulking. Come on, dear. I _am_ sorry you had to see that. I'll pack you the left overs to take home, okay?"

What else was there left to do?

Sasuke quietly murmured his thanks and then reluctantly left his teammate. After all, if it was him, he reasoned, he would like to be left alone.

* * *

His walk home was especially quiet that night.

The streets were darker than usual. Or maybe he just wasn't paying enough attention, with all the things that was weighing on his mind. Or maybe because there wasn't a Naruto to walk half the distance back home with. Or maybe because he was just worried about Shikako, the one of the few people that he could still worry about.

The part of his heart that time and friends had been able to heal ached for her.

But on the other hand...

At least she still had a family to fight with.

While he who had been blessed with everything now had nothing.

What he would give to have a father that would try and break fights. A mother that agonized about raised voices from her children. A brother that tried to keep his younger sibling safe, no matter that he was failing so badly at it.

But, really, they didn't even need to be all of that. He just wanted everything imperfectly perfect the way it was before that dreadful nightmare five years ago.

 _Just imagine._

Imagine life if he still had someone to come back home for.

Imagine life if the clock could turn back for all the ghosts in his ghost town until they could breathe again, smile again and live again.

And walk and walk and walk and there was his house. There was father.

He wanted his father. What does it matter if he was stern, if nothing Sasuke ever did seemed to be enough? Sasuke loved him the way he was. And mother. Mother loved _him_ the way he was. He could be whatever he wanted to be when he was with her without the fear of having that love change a molecule. For her, the sun rose and set on him. He was her golden boy, and she was more precious than gold in his eyes.

And Nii-san—

 _But we can't go back there anymore._

There was a spark, a flame. And suddenly the light was darkness, and the clock was back at the present.

Father was gone.

Mother was gone.

That _Nii-san_ of long ago had since turned to someone he couldn't even bear to name.

The Uchiha Clan was over.

And after the dinner lights, the approving pat on the shoulder and the dreams of the past, Sasuke was king in his ghost town once more.

* * *

 _For in a ghost town, the only living boy is king._

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Thank you for all the lovely reviews! It was such an inspiration to me. And I know that all of you are probably expecting a Shikamaru chapter, and I will get to that, but this just begged to be written. I mean, of all the POVs possible during that (epic) dinner scene, Shikamaru's excluded, Sasuke's called out to me the most. I hope you're not too disappointed with this! And did I even get his voice right?

And as for the next chapter...I have an idea for something lighter?

All my love.

And again, a million thanks to my hero, Silver Queen.


End file.
